sunday morning

so... here i am back in CT, which seems more prententious than usual, maybe because i'm seeing it from a rhode island perspective, i dont know... everything just seems so much more luxe, newer, shinier somehow, bad description, but im not sure how to explain it...
so, took a little trip down memory lane last night, meaning i spent the night with people i went to high school, some of whom i havent actually seen since then... and the conclusion is: everyone is the same. there were lots of boys in polo shirts and madras shorts, these are people who know the meaning of duvet cover and the exact color of nantucket red and wear seersucker shorts with absolutly no hint of irony... i dont know, darien is a crazy place, its a wonder i survived it. so anyway, it was just wierd, everyone was talking about leaving for school and i just sat there sipping my keystone light, thinking that i have nothing in common with these people and so was immensely bored, but then again, if i was in rhode island, i'd probably be either asleep or hanging out with my family, getting drunk... i mean, i guess it was kind of garden state-ish, to use a stupid and overused comparison, but i didnt come away with any life-changing revelations except the fact that i guess i felt more alone there than in a state where i dont know anyone... there was a sort of urgency on my part the whole night to be in an altered state of mind, and of course once you start thinking about it, you are immune to being able to be drunk, stoned, what have you. i guess if i have learned anything, the idea of not changing, but rather clinging on to all that you have always done is way more depressing than going through change, even if it means a shit time for a while... ok, so that sounds kinda cheesy but it is sort of comforting to think that i may possibly be doing something productive with my life, albeit for $10.50 an hour, but you know that there will always be the same people sitting in someone's back yard, smoking a joint and drinking cheap beer, pretending that they are still in high school. and i, for one, will hopefully not be there...