A Day in the Life

Ugh, what an awful day. Mind you, I'm sure that there are lots of people that have had days waaay worse than mine, but I don't happen to know any of them and I don't read the paper, and so there you go. What, you might ask, is so terrible about having literally NOTHING to do for 8 hours except sit and saturate my already soaked brain with more celebrity gossip? It's not so much that... its the thought that, given recent developments, I could be doing this every day for however long it takes me to earn enough money to get the guts to go out and find a better job. It's that I've just spent four years writing papers, essays, and more papers for the sake of that piece of paper that is supposed to signify success. And here I am answering telephones, and, if I'm lucky, doing some photocopying. I mean, I feel like I could have saved some time and skipped the whole college thing, hell even high school, because the skill level required to do my job is, well, minimal at best. And I still manage to fuck it up by not being "enthusiastic" enough when I answer the phone. Probably because half the time I end up calling the company the wrong name (I'm sorry, but it is a mouthful so to speak). goodmorningmetropolitanresearchassociateslauraspeakinghowmayihelpyou?

So it tends to come out sounding just like that looks, and I guess people noticed.

Note to self: find the nearest drug dealer, sit, chat, and take notes.

sunday morning

so... here i am back in CT, which seems more prententious than usual, maybe because i'm seeing it from a rhode island perspective, i dont know... everything just seems so much more luxe, newer, shinier somehow, bad description, but im not sure how to explain it...
so, took a little trip down memory lane last night, meaning i spent the night with people i went to high school, some of whom i havent actually seen since then... and the conclusion is: everyone is the same. there were lots of boys in polo shirts and madras shorts, these are people who know the meaning of duvet cover and the exact color of nantucket red and wear seersucker shorts with absolutly no hint of irony... i dont know, darien is a crazy place, its a wonder i survived it. so anyway, it was just wierd, everyone was talking about leaving for school and i just sat there sipping my keystone light, thinking that i have nothing in common with these people and so was immensely bored, but then again, if i was in rhode island, i'd probably be either asleep or hanging out with my family, getting drunk... i mean, i guess it was kind of garden state-ish, to use a stupid and overused comparison, but i didnt come away with any life-changing revelations except the fact that i guess i felt more alone there than in a state where i dont know anyone... there was a sort of urgency on my part the whole night to be in an altered state of mind, and of course once you start thinking about it, you are immune to being able to be drunk, stoned, what have you. i guess if i have learned anything, the idea of not changing, but rather clinging on to all that you have always done is way more depressing than going through change, even if it means a shit time for a while... ok, so that sounds kinda cheesy but it is sort of comforting to think that i may possibly be doing something productive with my life, albeit for $10.50 an hour, but you know that there will always be the same people sitting in someone's back yard, smoking a joint and drinking cheap beer, pretending that they are still in high school. and i, for one, will hopefully not be there...

Some thoughts for today...
-At least someone actually READS this crap...granted, i've apparently gotten myself into trouble, perhaps having the link in facebook wasn't the best idea... although i am flattered that somebody would spend the time to read my rantings. which, by the way, is all it is. rantings for people back home so they know what's going on in my life, good or bad.
-However...apparently i've pissed someone off. Didn't mean to. Like i said, i use this as a place to vent, that's it, and really did not think that what i say mattered to anyone besides myself. I tend not to be a confrontational person...thus i voice my feelings through writing.
-It's better to try to hard than not try at all... and that's all i have to say about that. Had a yummy lunch with chris, overshadowed only by the fact that now i'm hated. but hey, if you're going to spend the time to read my facebook profile and my blog, yet not ever make an intiative to get to know me, or at least talk to me, well, then i don't know what to tell you.

Ah, Bard... 

rock this bitch

in case you hadn't noticed, all i seem to do on this damn thing is bitch and moan, but venting is good. btw, i want to marry gavin degraw, but i digress. anywho...so this weekend...i was informed that liz's oh so lovely bf is coming over friday night and spending ALL DAY SATURDAY here so they can have a movie marathon... VOMIT. so basically, i sleep all day, which, while a feasible option, is rather dull, or head home, do some laundry, and see some d-town and b&n people... and hit up the thrift, biotch. tom, if you're reading this, we need to thrift. perhaps saturday. liz says im just not used to being the third wheel, and she's right, and now that i'm here, it's really not a fun place to be... damn me and my good match-making intentions. i miss the days when liz and i were both alone and miserable. god, am i like 5 years old or what. seriously, i can be nice, i dont have any communicable diseases (that i know of), and i like to think that i'm just quirky, not weird. apparently now that chris has seen my more vulnerable side, the side that drinks vodka and cough syrup because i was having a really shitty week, i am now the freaky suicidal girl that needs to be avoided. not true by the way, the suicidal part anyway. i can be the ONLY one who has done that, and if you say i am, well, you're lying. or i could turn into liz and pretend to be happy all the time while secretly being miserable. nah, i prefer to just let it all show, take it or leave it. preferably take it.

A List

Things that annoyed me today...in no particular order:
1. The fact that the girl next to me in my women's lit class turned to the girl next to her and said: "Seriously, we are the only intelligent people in the class." Um.....let's get out GPA/SAT scores and compare, bitches.
2. I have two midterms tomorrow, got drunk on tuesday night, slept through the review session yesterday for my midterm, which i have only been in for two days and now have to learn 4 weeks of class in, um, one night. YAY
3. It's cold out again.
4. Chris Shelton thinks i have "issues" and is in love with various people, myself most definitely NOT included in that list.
5. I miss **** .
6. The fact that the above mentioned girl from womens lit went on a whole thing about how people get intimidated by her because she's pretty and dresses well. Even though she looks like a sausage trying to fit into skinny girl clothes. not working so well, btw.
7. It's Thursday, meaning you-know-who will be sleeping over. HOORAY for strange men in my bathroom when i wake up in the morning.
8. The new issue of Us is CRAP.
9. Kate Bosworth weighs 115 lbs. NOT FAIR
10. Tom's car is finit. Meaning no visits. :(

i guess that'll do it for now...off to see ben folds/gavin degraw. maybe he's cuter in person.

ladies and gentlemen...the shit has hit the fan

so... could things get any fucking worse? probably, now that i said that. let's see, my roomate and i arent talking, her ugly annoying boyfriend is here ALL THE TIME and his laugh is like fingernails going down a blackboard or something equally annoying. and the person i liked turned out to be an arrogant conceited ASSHOLE who seems to be out to make my life as miserable as possible. god i feel like im back in middle school again whining about how much my life sucks. but it does. maybe, just maybe, can SOMETHING, anything, go right? yes, granted, i'm acting like i'm 5, secretly maybe i'm jealous of liz because now she is madly in love, granted he got beaten with the ugly stick, at least my southern boy was better looking. except he's not mine, and even if he was handed to me on a platter i'd probably throw it on the ground. lets see...he hates pretty much everything about me, my clothes, my shoes, the smoking, and those are only the things he knows about. god help me. time to pull out the jerk magnet shirt, or better yet, put an ad in the daily campus: swf looking for arrogant, committmentphobe, slightly gay guy to fuck with me and then laugh about it afterwards. oh but wait, i get those guys anyway. haha. lucky me.

std cat

so...hockey tonight. we won, not with ANY help from me because i just sort of flail around out there and pretend to know what i'm doing because never have i ever actually learned the rules of hockey, so i do my best to pretend. somehow it looks way more fun when you're sitting and watching someone else play, which is why i decided to play, from scott, even though he was goalie. oh that, and i had a crush on the guy who ran the ice rink. so here i am on a team with people that play REAL HOCKEY for uconn, and i'm, well...that girl who decided to show up one day and got shoved out onto the ice and the rest is history... i have a game tomorrow..anyone who feels like watching me make a total ass out of myself more than usual is welcome to come. what a weird weekend... hung out with b. last night, god knows why, probably because i was bored and had a whole bottle of cheap wine and no one to drink it with so i headed over there and ended up in over my head with illegal activities that are never a good thing. then proceeded to piss b. off as i kept asking his neighbor questions such as, oh so you never went to school?, and wow, you have kids already? etc... he kept glaring at me. not to mention the fact that nobody in the room wanted me there to begin with because, well, i was costing them money. thank god i was able to come home and fall asleep. we certainly dont want to go down that road again. hope to god anyone who reads this, namely tom is the only one i know of who actually does, but he knows what i'm talking about, everyone else, well...too bad. showed my mother a picture of c. today online because i happened to mention it to her (stupid idea) which was followed by the shocked remark.."which one is he? not the black guy!!!??" and you wonder why i despise going home. god i hate stupidity, especially when its in my goddamn family. i swear to god. perhaps i overreact, god knows about 20 people have told me that in the last 3 days, but so be it. thats almost worse than blatent racism. i dont know. anyway, enough of my little rant fest, work to do, oh and my cat has been sneezing and we looked it up online and apparently its caused by the cat versions of herpes or chlamydia. so i have a cat with no balls who still manages to get some weird cat version of an std. meaning my cat has been sleeping around? right...